Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts
Showing posts with label respect. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Culture of Anger


Boy, it's been a rough few days around here! Have you noticed that a majority of our "big" headlines lately have centered around people lashing out at someone or something? Everyone is angry about something anymore. In politics, Rep. Joe Wilson yelled "Liar" during President Obama's speech. Speaker of the House Pelosi is demanding retribution in multiple apologies in a cranky mother hen fashion. Private citizens across the country have been protesting angrily the amount of money that Congress has been spending in stimulus money with "Tea Parties", much like the original Boston Tea Party. In sports, Serena Williams unleashed a string of expletives and anger toward line judges during her U.S. Open tennis match. Michael Jordan delivered his Hall of Fame speech with tongue-in-cheek sarcasm and chip-on-shoulders venom. And he has broad shoulders. And most recently, the MVA embarrassment of Kanye West interrupting Taylor Swift's acceptance speech of Best Female Video of the Year to express his opinion that another's video was better.

Where is all this anger coming from? These are only a few examples that grabbed the national headlines. There are many, many more horrifying examples locally, all over the country of robberies, murders, road rage, drunk driving and gang-related crimes. We all seem to want and need others to see things the way we see them. Have the same opinions we do. And if they don't, we are taking action to show them the error in their ways. Rising up and taking a stand because we have the need to show that we count. Or drown ourselves in our despair. What's going on?

In my opinion, the past ten year of teaching, preaching and evangelizing the new buzz-word "TOLERANCE" is the problem. With the brand of tolerance that is being held up as the example, there is no right or wrong. Everyone has their own views and opinions and no one should be "belittled" into being wrong. I think in the ten years or so of this philosophy we have all seen that there's a huge flaw in this thinking as someone is always in charge of deciding, and judging, the tolerance around them. In other words, not being tolerant of someone's opinion or views. And it seems the ones that preach this brand of tolerance the loudest are the ones that scream intolerance the most. Do they not see the irony in that? But the tolerance and right and wrongness of big issues like politics and human rights has trickled down to the decay of wrongness of smaller things like bullying, entitlement and lack of work ethics. It is my own belief that there needs to be right and wrongs. And not defined in two billion different ways, leaving it to everyone's own definition. One way. I happen to be a person that believes in God and His ways and His rights and wrongs. I think it goes hand-in-hand. But, regardless, I think all this should be food for thought for everyone. We can no longer ignore the ramifications and results we are seeing in everyday life now of just how unrealistic it is for everyone to live and believe in their own set of rules. It's just not working. Sometimes we need to play the adult and make the tough decisions in life. Be true to yourself, in the way you were intended to be. Even those of us that fight in the name of God and His ways are doing so in unacceptable ways. God did not intend for us to become murderers of those we think are doing wrong anymore than those doing wrong in their own name are wrong. Be accountable. We need to realize that some things are simply wrong and punishable. Other things are opinions and allowable. And that there's alot of us! We need to find a way to respect our differences, respect our commonalities and respect ourselves. Hmmm. Maybe we all need to go back to school and learn the definition of respect.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Desirable Characteristics

I was watching the news early last week about politicians in the moment and someone hadn’t been honest. I know. What a shocker. So I thought I’d pose the question to my online friends, “What ONE characteristic is the MOST important in people? Not just in a mate/friend/children---ANYONE. I was interested in knowing what everyone looks for in a person to qualify them as “worthy”. After just going through the elections and deciding on officials that are to represent ourselves, I assumed (no jokes) that we all have a characteristic or two that we look for in a person when we make these kinds of decisions. I was quite surprised by the comments I got back to my question, so I decided to open it up to a wider audience and posted it as a poll in the larger community. I used all the characteristics that had made the comments to my original post as the choices for the poll. The poll findings were as follows, out of 53 total votes,

Courage 0%
Confidence 1%
Affection/Kindness 9%
Sense of Humor 11%
Honesty/Integrity 33%
Self-Respect/Respect for others 43%

I am a bit curious about the difference between the top two vote getters. Granted, both are highly important. And with further consideration, I might begin to wonder, or even conclude that respect is inclusive of honesty. Let’s just check the definitions according to Dictionary.com.

RESPECT

to hold in esteem or honor: I cannot respect a cheat.
to show regard or consideration for: to respect someone's rights.

HONESTY

the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
freedom from deceit or fraud.


Hmmm, I don’t see any similarities really, do you? Respect does not equal honesty. Yet, I see that the word “fairness” is used in one of the definitions of honesty. Wouldn’t fairness equal the “consideration” of respect?

I find it hard to believe that 64% of people polled would prefer other characteristics in a person over honesty and integrity. But it’s kind of telling too. Look around us. Marriages aren’t expected to go the distance. Politicians (that we vote into office) often find themselves “outed” in some sort of scandal during their tenure or are said to be non-progressive and staid old-school.

Notice we seem to like the feel-good characteristics? The ones that make us smile and have warm fuzzy feelings are desirable. The ones that’s not hard to accept or give, the ones that validate with enjoyment. Hearing truth is often coupled with hard news, harsh news, things that don’t make us happy, things that we’d rather not stress over or think about. Truth causes us to make a decision and stand for a cause or belief. And most of the time that puts our beliefs front and center and then we are committed to that belief, for public scrutiny. And in today’s tolerant society, there’s not much tolerance for firm, staunch stands that are rooted in being honest. Being honest, in itself, is usually found to be very intolerant these days. It doesn’t make us feel good. It doesn’t put a smile on our face, make us want a group hug or feel inclined to sing a verse from Kumbaya.

Personally, I would like to see a few more less-agreeable and feel-good people in this world in exchange for some honesty. Some cold, hard truth, tell it like it is and let me know where things stand. I can deal with nearly anything, I have found, if I know the truths involved. As soon as some fact is glossed over or misrepresented, then how I deal with it is not based in a real situation. It’s a flawed situation, thus my solution is flawed. Could we possibly begin to grow a thicker skin again and start dealing with in truths? Man-up, woman-up, cowboy up, grow up. Get real and get honest and start expecting honesty from people. Start demanding honesty from people.