I have come to grips with what is coming. I've had the time to find a "home" inside myself with my place and purpose. I know that there are still alot of unknowns, but I have found something inside me that says I can do this.
My father was placed in the hospital for pain management and they discovered a blot-clot in his leg. The meds used to dissolve and manage his pain finally kicked in and started giving him enough relief that he was resting better and sounded rested. There is a little voice to his hoarseness also. So, I'm hopeful that when I get there, he will be in better spirits and be ready to face the business of making arrangements and talking through everything that needs to be talked through.
My own husband and son have left me alone just the right amount and reassured me that things will happen as they should. I am reminded that even when things aren't done "right", they do get done and "well enough". I will miss some key days and activities with them, but I am also realizing that I can actually grow in many ways, and different ways, closer to them through my time away.
So, here I go.
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