Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Just a simple reminder that we can ALL help!
I've heard more than once in the last few days about the extreme need that local shelters and food pantries have right now. The number of people needing the assistance has grown way beyond their ability to provide. Alot of people that used to help these places are the same ones in need now. As bleak as the the numbers are, there are an awful lot of us that still have jobs, even though we may be pulling in our spending and conserving for the possibility of hard times ourselves. But most of us have a can or two on our shelves or can grab an extra can as we get what we need to make supper tonight when stopping by the grocery store. Let's all rally together and take care of each other. The organizations that are around for that purpose are tapped out. They need our help because our neighbors need the help. Please see the blessings in your life and take that can you can spare to your local shelter, abused shelter or food pantry today.
Monday, February 2, 2009
Desirable Characteristics
I was watching the news early last week about politicians in the moment and someone hadn’t been honest. I know. What a shocker. So I thought I’d pose the question to my online friends, “What ONE characteristic is the MOST important in people? Not just in a mate/friend/children---ANYONE. I was interested in knowing what everyone looks for in a person to qualify them as “worthy”. After just going through the elections and deciding on officials that are to represent ourselves, I assumed (no jokes) that we all have a characteristic or two that we look for in a person when we make these kinds of decisions. I was quite surprised by the comments I got back to my question, so I decided to open it up to a wider audience and posted it as a poll in the larger community. I used all the characteristics that had made the comments to my original post as the choices for the poll. The poll findings were as follows, out of 53 total votes,
Courage 0%
Confidence 1%
Affection/Kindness 9%
Sense of Humor 11%
Honesty/Integrity 33%
Self-Respect/Respect for others 43%
I am a bit curious about the difference between the top two vote getters. Granted, both are highly important. And with further consideration, I might begin to wonder, or even conclude that respect is inclusive of honesty. Let’s just check the definitions according to Dictionary.com.
RESPECT
to hold in esteem or honor: I cannot respect a cheat.
to show regard or consideration for: to respect someone's rights.
HONESTY
the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
freedom from deceit or fraud.
Hmmm, I don’t see any similarities really, do you? Respect does not equal honesty. Yet, I see that the word “fairness” is used in one of the definitions of honesty. Wouldn’t fairness equal the “consideration” of respect?
I find it hard to believe that 64% of people polled would prefer other characteristics in a person over honesty and integrity. But it’s kind of telling too. Look around us. Marriages aren’t expected to go the distance. Politicians (that we vote into office) often find themselves “outed” in some sort of scandal during their tenure or are said to be non-progressive and staid old-school.
Notice we seem to like the feel-good characteristics? The ones that make us smile and have warm fuzzy feelings are desirable. The ones that’s not hard to accept or give, the ones that validate with enjoyment. Hearing truth is often coupled with hard news, harsh news, things that don’t make us happy, things that we’d rather not stress over or think about. Truth causes us to make a decision and stand for a cause or belief. And most of the time that puts our beliefs front and center and then we are committed to that belief, for public scrutiny. And in today’s tolerant society, there’s not much tolerance for firm, staunch stands that are rooted in being honest. Being honest, in itself, is usually found to be very intolerant these days. It doesn’t make us feel good. It doesn’t put a smile on our face, make us want a group hug or feel inclined to sing a verse from Kumbaya.
Personally, I would like to see a few more less-agreeable and feel-good people in this world in exchange for some honesty. Some cold, hard truth, tell it like it is and let me know where things stand. I can deal with nearly anything, I have found, if I know the truths involved. As soon as some fact is glossed over or misrepresented, then how I deal with it is not based in a real situation. It’s a flawed situation, thus my solution is flawed. Could we possibly begin to grow a thicker skin again and start dealing with in truths? Man-up, woman-up, cowboy up, grow up. Get real and get honest and start expecting honesty from people. Start demanding honesty from people.
Courage 0%
Confidence 1%
Affection/Kindness 9%
Sense of Humor 11%
Honesty/Integrity 33%
Self-Respect/Respect for others 43%
I am a bit curious about the difference between the top two vote getters. Granted, both are highly important. And with further consideration, I might begin to wonder, or even conclude that respect is inclusive of honesty. Let’s just check the definitions according to Dictionary.com.
RESPECT
to hold in esteem or honor: I cannot respect a cheat.
to show regard or consideration for: to respect someone's rights.
HONESTY
the quality or fact of being honest; uprightness and fairness.
truthfulness, sincerity, or frankness.
freedom from deceit or fraud.
Hmmm, I don’t see any similarities really, do you? Respect does not equal honesty. Yet, I see that the word “fairness” is used in one of the definitions of honesty. Wouldn’t fairness equal the “consideration” of respect?
I find it hard to believe that 64% of people polled would prefer other characteristics in a person over honesty and integrity. But it’s kind of telling too. Look around us. Marriages aren’t expected to go the distance. Politicians (that we vote into office) often find themselves “outed” in some sort of scandal during their tenure or are said to be non-progressive and staid old-school.
Notice we seem to like the feel-good characteristics? The ones that make us smile and have warm fuzzy feelings are desirable. The ones that’s not hard to accept or give, the ones that validate with enjoyment. Hearing truth is often coupled with hard news, harsh news, things that don’t make us happy, things that we’d rather not stress over or think about. Truth causes us to make a decision and stand for a cause or belief. And most of the time that puts our beliefs front and center and then we are committed to that belief, for public scrutiny. And in today’s tolerant society, there’s not much tolerance for firm, staunch stands that are rooted in being honest. Being honest, in itself, is usually found to be very intolerant these days. It doesn’t make us feel good. It doesn’t put a smile on our face, make us want a group hug or feel inclined to sing a verse from Kumbaya.
Personally, I would like to see a few more less-agreeable and feel-good people in this world in exchange for some honesty. Some cold, hard truth, tell it like it is and let me know where things stand. I can deal with nearly anything, I have found, if I know the truths involved. As soon as some fact is glossed over or misrepresented, then how I deal with it is not based in a real situation. It’s a flawed situation, thus my solution is flawed. Could we possibly begin to grow a thicker skin again and start dealing with in truths? Man-up, woman-up, cowboy up, grow up. Get real and get honest and start expecting honesty from people. Start demanding honesty from people.
Monday, January 12, 2009
Kids and Today's Society
After much thought and consideration, I have concluded that the responsibility of how the youth of today have become, falls in a few different places. It's not a cut/dry issue. But it is definitive of an entire generation. Even the good kids, from good families, exhibit attitudes, if not behaviors, of their peers. And I fully believe it's because it's the world they live in. No amount of parenting can change the far-reaching influences they are bombarded with. We cannot fully shelter them away from the world. Nor, do I think we completely would want to. But that's a completely different subject. I would lay the responsibility at the feet of the following,
•1. Parents
•2. Liberalism
•3. the Church
First, and foremost, the responsibility falls on the parents. Regardless of other influences, parents still need to parent. The kids today have been raised by adults that were latchkey kids. They either had two parents working to pay for a higher level of living than they had growing up, or they had a struggling single parent that was caught in the perpetual merry-go-round of increasing costs of goods and services because business skyrocketed because people expect more and have the money to pay it. The former household wanted to be known as part of the best, the cream of the crop. They want to be seen by their peers as successful and everything in their home and family needs to fit that definition at all costs. The latter worries about paying bills and the guilt of not being able to provide the kids with the now average things most kids have. In both types of households, the parents do not want their kids being left out, being different, causing them to suffer possible self-esteem issues. To finish the perfect picture to these families, their children are also to be seen as successful. When they do something wrong, taking responsibility for their actions is not taught anymore. Responsibility requires admission. Responsibility requires ethics. Responsibilities required contrition. None of these things fit into the mold of providing the picture of a successful family. Look at who our kids look up to as heroes these days. Mostly, it's professional athletes. And many of them have been men that were raised in the current no right or wrong culture and no responsibility and suddenly they are provided a lifestyle of fame and extreme fortune. We would like to think that would give them what they have been lacking and they could live a good and upstanding life. But more often than not, they are getting into legal troubles, much like the poor, urban kids they used to be. When children are not taught to take responsibility, a symptom to that is created, entitlement. Entitlement expects things to be handed over without the worry of failure or judgment. With the outcome not in question, the next casualty of virtue is work ethics. In our attempt to have the best and be perceived as successful, we have become a society that is completely entrenched in celebrities and the manner in which they live. We have become a society of expecting the finer things of life without the sense to realize that all things are not fair in life. The self-absorption into the world of "having" quickly becomes an addiction. One I truly believe is just as gripping and difficult to break. One that has those in its grips completely unaware of and in denial.
Thanks to the socialistic direction that this country has been taking for the past 30 years, we now have two generations that feel all things should be fair, aka evenly distributed. Those without the means should be helped to live in a manner they cannot achieve on their own. Those with the most money should be forced to distribute the money they worked for to people that do not have the education, or even possibly, the desire, to acquire the types of jobs that pay well. In their "perfect" world, a janitor should get to live the same as an engineer. Not that one job is any better than another. Both are equally necessary. But the required time and education it takes for one is out of proportion to the other. It is the major reason for the current economic crash this country, and the entire world, has experienced. Making home ownership more available to the lower-economic rungs was the motivation behind the creation of subprime lending. The same basic philosophy is in the auto industry, it's called leasing. Lower monthly payments and less paying down of a principle, letting those that cannot afford the traditional payment plans to afford to drive nice, new cars and live in bigger, more expensive homes than their salaries would support in traditional loans. In both scenarios the ultimate goals are not to own those items. It is simply to have and use those items. Our current judicial system and government has little by little whittled away at the things that defined various groups of people in this country. They have diluted the line and definition of right and wrong. Those that break the law are allowed to live in such conditions that would be desirable for many households on the outside. They are allowed resources in frivolous court cases, as well as full educations, all at the taxpayers' expense. They have diluted the line between the haves and have not's.
All of this has permeated not only those families not taught morals anymore, but Christian homes. And the Church is failing to secure its place in our current society. For so many decades, the Church has been defined by denominations. Each denomination has their particular list of rules and guidelines that can be defined only by their particular boundaries. Each has interpretations of Scripture to support their teachings. And many have relied on those rules and boundaries as much and more in their teachings, and more importantly, in their measurement and judgment of each other and those outside their walls. They have raised families to look at everyone in judgment. They have raised families to judge themselves not by God's love, but by the rules of the Church. And that can only beget arrogance or self-loathing and guilt. When the Church cannot show that it has relevance in a true and workable application in a culture that prevails today, it shrivels, becomes shallow and does not teach another viewpoint or reason to live any differently than the current culture. In fact, it simply supports an argument for a reason to look elsewhere for happiness. One that is much more self-motivated.
I don't know what will need to happen to turn our society around again. Unfortunately, it often takes catastrophic happenings to change current tides. But, if this is not a time of catastrophic happenings, I would hate to see what more it would need to include. We have come through hard times economically in the past. We have come through hard times politically. And we have come through hard times socially. We are not really in anything new that we haven't been before, but we must stop and ponder and find reasonable priorities for new values, new ethics, new heroes and a much wiser world.
•1. Parents
•2. Liberalism
•3. the Church
First, and foremost, the responsibility falls on the parents. Regardless of other influences, parents still need to parent. The kids today have been raised by adults that were latchkey kids. They either had two parents working to pay for a higher level of living than they had growing up, or they had a struggling single parent that was caught in the perpetual merry-go-round of increasing costs of goods and services because business skyrocketed because people expect more and have the money to pay it. The former household wanted to be known as part of the best, the cream of the crop. They want to be seen by their peers as successful and everything in their home and family needs to fit that definition at all costs. The latter worries about paying bills and the guilt of not being able to provide the kids with the now average things most kids have. In both types of households, the parents do not want their kids being left out, being different, causing them to suffer possible self-esteem issues. To finish the perfect picture to these families, their children are also to be seen as successful. When they do something wrong, taking responsibility for their actions is not taught anymore. Responsibility requires admission. Responsibility requires ethics. Responsibilities required contrition. None of these things fit into the mold of providing the picture of a successful family. Look at who our kids look up to as heroes these days. Mostly, it's professional athletes. And many of them have been men that were raised in the current no right or wrong culture and no responsibility and suddenly they are provided a lifestyle of fame and extreme fortune. We would like to think that would give them what they have been lacking and they could live a good and upstanding life. But more often than not, they are getting into legal troubles, much like the poor, urban kids they used to be. When children are not taught to take responsibility, a symptom to that is created, entitlement. Entitlement expects things to be handed over without the worry of failure or judgment. With the outcome not in question, the next casualty of virtue is work ethics. In our attempt to have the best and be perceived as successful, we have become a society that is completely entrenched in celebrities and the manner in which they live. We have become a society of expecting the finer things of life without the sense to realize that all things are not fair in life. The self-absorption into the world of "having" quickly becomes an addiction. One I truly believe is just as gripping and difficult to break. One that has those in its grips completely unaware of and in denial.
Thanks to the socialistic direction that this country has been taking for the past 30 years, we now have two generations that feel all things should be fair, aka evenly distributed. Those without the means should be helped to live in a manner they cannot achieve on their own. Those with the most money should be forced to distribute the money they worked for to people that do not have the education, or even possibly, the desire, to acquire the types of jobs that pay well. In their "perfect" world, a janitor should get to live the same as an engineer. Not that one job is any better than another. Both are equally necessary. But the required time and education it takes for one is out of proportion to the other. It is the major reason for the current economic crash this country, and the entire world, has experienced. Making home ownership more available to the lower-economic rungs was the motivation behind the creation of subprime lending. The same basic philosophy is in the auto industry, it's called leasing. Lower monthly payments and less paying down of a principle, letting those that cannot afford the traditional payment plans to afford to drive nice, new cars and live in bigger, more expensive homes than their salaries would support in traditional loans. In both scenarios the ultimate goals are not to own those items. It is simply to have and use those items. Our current judicial system and government has little by little whittled away at the things that defined various groups of people in this country. They have diluted the line and definition of right and wrong. Those that break the law are allowed to live in such conditions that would be desirable for many households on the outside. They are allowed resources in frivolous court cases, as well as full educations, all at the taxpayers' expense. They have diluted the line between the haves and have not's.
All of this has permeated not only those families not taught morals anymore, but Christian homes. And the Church is failing to secure its place in our current society. For so many decades, the Church has been defined by denominations. Each denomination has their particular list of rules and guidelines that can be defined only by their particular boundaries. Each has interpretations of Scripture to support their teachings. And many have relied on those rules and boundaries as much and more in their teachings, and more importantly, in their measurement and judgment of each other and those outside their walls. They have raised families to look at everyone in judgment. They have raised families to judge themselves not by God's love, but by the rules of the Church. And that can only beget arrogance or self-loathing and guilt. When the Church cannot show that it has relevance in a true and workable application in a culture that prevails today, it shrivels, becomes shallow and does not teach another viewpoint or reason to live any differently than the current culture. In fact, it simply supports an argument for a reason to look elsewhere for happiness. One that is much more self-motivated.
I don't know what will need to happen to turn our society around again. Unfortunately, it often takes catastrophic happenings to change current tides. But, if this is not a time of catastrophic happenings, I would hate to see what more it would need to include. We have come through hard times economically in the past. We have come through hard times politically. And we have come through hard times socially. We are not really in anything new that we haven't been before, but we must stop and ponder and find reasonable priorities for new values, new ethics, new heroes and a much wiser world.
Friday, January 9, 2009
My first blog
Greetings!
I guess I should tell you a bit about myself to start this blog thing off. After all, this is all about my thoughts and opinions on everyday stuff. I said this is about the “middles”. My life started and has been lived there.
Looking back, I realize that understanding of the world around me came slowly to me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my people skills and knowledge of the things going on around me was a slow, melting evolution. I’m not saying I have arrived at complete enlightenment, but as the old song goes, “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.” But even that is only on certain days. A lack of sun where I live plays a big part in that somehow.
Friends are priceless to me. The ones that love me regardless of a difference in opinion and can handle that I’m discovering the real me at the age of----well, lets just say at my age----and can still accept me are my closest. I’m not about collecting friends. I abhor shallow, surface relationships and I have found I have a voice. Those friends have encouraged me to let more people see my writings and ramblings. So, to prove that age hasn’t completely claimed me yet, this is my “stepping out”. And I’ll leave it at that for now.
I guess I should tell you a bit about myself to start this blog thing off. After all, this is all about my thoughts and opinions on everyday stuff. I said this is about the “middles”. My life started and has been lived there.
Looking back, I realize that understanding of the world around me came slowly to me. I didn’t realize it at the time, but my people skills and knowledge of the things going on around me was a slow, melting evolution. I’m not saying I have arrived at complete enlightenment, but as the old song goes, “I can see clearly now, the rain is gone.” But even that is only on certain days. A lack of sun where I live plays a big part in that somehow.
Friends are priceless to me. The ones that love me regardless of a difference in opinion and can handle that I’m discovering the real me at the age of----well, lets just say at my age----and can still accept me are my closest. I’m not about collecting friends. I abhor shallow, surface relationships and I have found I have a voice. Those friends have encouraged me to let more people see my writings and ramblings. So, to prove that age hasn’t completely claimed me yet, this is my “stepping out”. And I’ll leave it at that for now.
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